Do not read this article if you are easily offended, don’t like sex, can’t cope with obscenity and are a punctuation policeman. In order to get me back I am going to use the latest keywords list from Wordtracker again. I know that I was told I wouldn’t rank for them last time I did this but then again I did see an increase in traffic directly attributed to the crap I wrote.

The keyphrase at 50 is free lady sonia, Ok I look at this phrase and I am thinking of princesses in towers, handcuffs long boots and leather whips. Yes call me perverted but fairytales have always done it for me. I could live with some free lady sonia as long as she is as cute as Snow White or Cinderella.

As I am a Taurus who was almost a Gemini, I think Lady Sonia needs to be either an aquarius or a libra. Actually don’t have a clue if those would make a good match as the whole astrology lark makes very little sense to me. I mean seriously, I was born on the 19th May 1965 at about 3 am. Does this affect the way I will live my life because the stars are aligned in a specific way.  I leave this shit for teenage girls.

Getting free ringback tones, OK what the fuck is a free ringback tone? I have heard of ring tones, but ringback tones. Am I just getting too damned old to keep up with all this technology. I reckon if I was a capricorn or a saggitarius I may be less confused about the state of technology. This is a serious issue, I think I would need to visit www.ls-magazine.com to find out how a spankwire could solve my problem with the vew DVD,HDD combo thingy I bought. You know watching TV was a whole lot easier before the nasa ibex probe. Let’s see  that just sounds dirty. I am going to jump your bones using the spankwire and the nasa ibex probe as toys to make it even dirtier than usual.

After Andre’s comments about nude pictures of me, I think I will patent pumpkin face patterns using that scary thing he calls a face, but then again those might just be better advertised as funny pumpkin designs. I think walmart might be a  good place to approach in order to sell halloween costumes using a rubber mask of Andre’s face. That should scare a few kiddies.

I kind of wonder if Andre should his Yahoo mail address to advertise his and sarah palin’s printable pumpkin faces on craigs list. I was curious as to what brazzers meant, after Andre told me that it was a cool site. If you are going to sign up to look at big titties on the site I would suggest that making love to Mrs Palm can also be done to pornotube. But in order to stop everyone from calling you a wanker, It may be a good idea to first get a hotmail.com email address.

You could always ask levi stubbs to serenade you while all the self love is happening. Who the hell names their kids after a pair of dungarees, It must have been an unforgetaball where the forgot the glove. Better than calling him durex if you got to name him after something that was lying on the floor right?

I swear I am not going to discuss transformation sequences or the xhamster on porntube. I think that Stofile dude could do with some lightening up. Maybe an xhamster up his arse would get him to understand that the Springbok is not a racist, Its a goat like creature that roams the plains near Bloemfontein. Oh fuck, I guess it must be racist then. Its had contact with those boys from Reitz.

MSN and google.com could index robb’s celebrity page. WTF? tamil kama kathaigal is related to the age old pleasure of you guessed it, Sex, dri=ugs, fonts and cinema. aol.com and wikipedia recommending  going to your home depot and getting ky jelly before attempting any of the shit on maxporn. gmail have a dictionary and that doesn’t have this tamil kama kathaigal or free pumpkin cutouts as valid tube8.com recipe.

Will kim kardashian wear a bikini and a free pumpkin cutout for halloween? I bet CNN would cover mujeres eyaculando doing a test run of his attempts to impregnate the prince george phone book on youtube.com. Yes I know this is beyond the realms of ridiculosity but what the hell else can I say about pumpkin faces. pthc or even pffft what the hell does pthc mean anyway?

I think amazon.com would sell 1000’s of videos of jessica simpson nude painting scary pumpkin patterns or hot scary faces of pumpkins. Carmen Electra and Jessica simpson could get naughty, kissing and cuddling with all that pumpkin pulp all over the place. That gives me another Halloween costume idea, You could mount lil wayne on paris hiltons back with jessica alba and angelina jolie on her sides. That would be megarotic. Family naturism at its best. Is that like incest, a game the whole family can play? Who gets to wear the lingerie?