This is not original but a rough translation of the post I have referenced at the end.

It has come to the attention of management that some colleagues are using unwanted language in the course of normal conversations with their peers. Due to complaints from members of staff this will no longer be tolerated. The following innovative suggestions for language use come to mind.

I think some more training may be of use to you
rather than You haven’t a fucking clue, do you?

She’s a dynamic worker
rather than she is a ballbusting bitch.

I may be able to work some overtime
rather than And where the fuck am I supposed to find time for this as well?

I don’t believe this is possible
rather than Theres no fucking way.

Really?
rather than Blow it outr your ass.

The problem is on my todo list for attention
rather than Who gives a rats arse?

I was not part of that project team
rather than Not my fucking problem

That’s interesting
rather than What the fuck? You got rocks in your head?

I am not sure implementation is an option
rather than Fuck that, this crap’s never going to work.

I’ll schedule it
rather than Why the fuck didn’t you tell me earlier?

He is not au fait with the facts
rather than, What? That moron has less knowledge than a dead fuckwit.

I beg your pardon?
not fuck you twat.

So, You are dissatisfied with the issue
not, Thats your fucking issue, not mine.

I am a little overloaded, can you find someone else?
not Fuckit, I am not paid enough for the crap.

I don’t think you understand
not Shove it where the sun don’t shine.

I love a challenge
not, What a crap job.

Do you want me to find a solution?
not Who the fuck died and made you god?

He is a little insensitive
not. Is that fuckwit still here?

Thank you for your co-operation
Human resources

More on this subject

• This I had to share.
• Ladies take note and learn

Tags: Funny, Human resources

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