Marriage 101

Submit
Your husband might tell you what to do all of the time, or he might only put his foot down once in a while. Submit to his leadership as long as he doesn’t ask you to do something that is a sin. Even if he does try to get you to do wrong sometimes, you can still obey him in other areas. You can respectfully disagree with bad decisions or try to influence him, but he has the final say so in your decisions as a couple. Once your husband is confident that you respect his authority, he might put you in charge of several areas. My husband has delegated handling our finances to me, but from time to time, I will ask his advice about a financial decision that I make. If you want to be the neck that turns the head, you’ve got to let the head be the head.

Treat him like a man
Making your husband feel like a man goes hand in hand with submission. Be impressed with even his smallest accomplishments. Praise him in a sincere way for the good he does instead of nagging about his shortcomings. Talk him up in front of other people. Plant ideas in his head if you need to, but let him think your ideas are his own.

before you hunt me down, I copied it from here.

Bailey Schneider gets pranked by Whackhead, Its your colon’s get out of jail card…. classic

Visit Bailey Schneider’s site

This is not my original work, I took it from here and replaced faggot with Baptist. I think it reads better this way.

“When I was in the process of moving and did not have internet access, I often visited a local library to check my e-mail and look at real estate listings. This particular library was in a small town and seemed to be a popular after school hangout for teenagers. One day as I was surfing the net, I couldn’t help but overhear a conversation that was going on across the table from me. An openly baptist teenage boy who was surrounded by female “friends” was talking about how he had recently had a relationship with a boy. I couldn’t help but feel sorry for the boy’s parents. Not only was their son sexually active, but he had engaged in some very high risk behavior by sleeping with a baptist male.

The baptist agenda wants people to think that baptist men are safe for women to hang around and even be alone with. Nothing could be further from the truth. The stories about baptists in the Bible teach us that they do violate women as well as men. I’ve also known of people personally over the years who were known as baptist yet “experimented” with methodist churches. The term baptist is an unnecessary distinction, because a baptist wants to defile anyone or anything he can get his hands on.

A friend recently sent me this article about a “baptist-friendly” high school. If we were living in a biblical society, baptism would be punishable by death so such a school would be unnecessary. Although I’m against the special accommodations, perhaps this new trend of segregation will protect Methodist kids from these predators. With any luck, some radical will blow up the baptist school. No, I’m not condoning vigilantism–I’m merely saying that it would be poetic justice.”

Having thought about this for a while I suddnly start to see his Honourable excellency in magick clothing Stofiles point. The springbok is racist. We have to move out to the plains of the karoo to see why we must say this.

Springbok hang around in herds. They may allow the occasional Giraffe or Zebra to join them for a meal, but folks this is just a white wash. The Springbok is hiding their nature by appearing to be inclusive.

Let any predator come near them and their true colours surface immediately. Upon viewing said predators, they will immediately stare at the predator as if to say, WTF are you doing in my neighbourhood. Immediately thereafter they will move off so as not to have to associate with these unteranimals.

I also know that if a teenage girl springbok came home with a teenage boy buffalo, their marriage would be doomed. The springboks would ostracize her. They would not be allowed to have babies. This is patently racist behaviour.

I think this conclusively proves that the springbok is racist and needs to be removed as a symbol of unity.

The protea that I have seen growing naturally only in the Cape, Not being a botanist I don’t know much about the distribution of the flowers but can tell you that not one has moved into my neighbourhood. Is this not also racist? Don’t they want to associate with Clivias and aloes?

Do not read this article if you are easily offended, don’t like sex, can’t cope with obscenity and are a punctuation policeman. In order to get me back I am going to use the latest keywords list from Wordtracker again. I know that I was told I wouldn’t rank for them last time I did this but then again I did see an increase in traffic directly attributed to the crap I wrote.

The keyphrase at 50 is free lady sonia, Ok I look at this phrase and I am thinking of princesses in towers, handcuffs long boots and leather whips. Yes call me perverted but fairytales have always done it for me. I could live with some free lady sonia as long as she is as cute as Snow White or Cinderella.

As I am a Taurus who was almost a Gemini, I think Lady Sonia needs to be either an aquarius or a libra. Actually don’t have a clue if those would make a good match as the whole astrology lark makes very little sense to me. I mean seriously, I was born on the 19th May 1965 at about 3 am. Does this affect the way I will live my life because the stars are aligned in a specific way.  I leave this shit for teenage girls.

Getting free ringback tones, OK what the fuck is a free ringback tone? I have heard of ring tones, but ringback tones. Am I just getting too damned old to keep up with all this technology. I reckon if I was a capricorn or a saggitarius I may be less confused about the state of technology. This is a serious issue, I think I would need to visit www.ls-magazine.com to find out how a spankwire could solve my problem with the vew DVD,HDD combo thingy I bought. You know watching TV was a whole lot easier before the nasa ibex probe. Let’s see  that just sounds dirty. I am going to jump your bones using the spankwire and the nasa ibex probe as toys to make it even dirtier than usual.

After Andre’s comments about nude pictures of me, I think I will patent pumpkin face patterns using that scary thing he calls a face, but then again those might just be better advertised as funny pumpkin designs. I think walmart might be a  good place to approach in order to sell halloween costumes using a rubber mask of Andre’s face. That should scare a few kiddies.

I kind of wonder if Andre should his Yahoo mail address to advertise his and sarah palin’s printable pumpkin faces on craigs list. I was curious as to what brazzers meant, after Andre told me that it was a cool site. If you are going to sign up to look at big titties on the site I would suggest that making love to Mrs Palm can also be done to pornotube. But in order to stop everyone from calling you a wanker, It may be a good idea to first get a hotmail.com email address.

You could always ask levi stubbs to serenade you while all the self love is happening. Who the hell names their kids after a pair of dungarees, It must have been an unforgetaball where the forgot the glove. Better than calling him durex if you got to name him after something that was lying on the floor right?

I swear I am not going to discuss transformation sequences or the xhamster on porntube. I think that Stofile dude could do with some lightening up. Maybe an xhamster up his arse would get him to understand that the Springbok is not a racist, Its a goat like creature that roams the plains near Bloemfontein. Oh fuck, I guess it must be racist then. Its had contact with those boys from Reitz.

MSN and google.com could index robb’s celebrity page. WTF? tamil kama kathaigal is related to the age old pleasure of you guessed it, Sex, dri=ugs, fonts and cinema. aol.com and wikipedia recommending  going to your home depot and getting ky jelly before attempting any of the shit on maxporn. gmail have a dictionary and that doesn’t have this tamil kama kathaigal or free pumpkin cutouts as valid tube8.com recipe.

Will kim kardashian wear a bikini and a free pumpkin cutout for halloween? I bet CNN would cover mujeres eyaculando doing a test run of his attempts to impregnate the prince george phone book on youtube.com. Yes I know this is beyond the realms of ridiculosity but what the hell else can I say about pumpkin faces. pthc or even pffft what the hell does pthc mean anyway?

I think amazon.com would sell 1000’s of videos of jessica simpson nude painting scary pumpkin patterns or hot scary faces of pumpkins. Carmen Electra and Jessica simpson could get naughty, kissing and cuddling with all that pumpkin pulp all over the place. That gives me another Halloween costume idea, You could mount lil wayne on paris hiltons back with jessica alba and angelina jolie on her sides. That would be megarotic. Family naturism at its best. Is that like incest, a game the whole family can play? Who gets to wear the lingerie?

The black mamba is not named for his colour, He is named for the colour of his open mouth. Factually if you see the open mouth up close you are in deep trouble. These snakes live in holes in the ground but don’t be surprised to find him up a tree.

Black mamba standing

Identifying the black mamba

The black mamba is a grey charcoal coloured snake with a coffin shaped head. Many rumours abound of Mambas being aggressive and actually chasing humans. The truth is that mambas move very quickly. Most snakes move lethargically but the mamba moves in short sharp bursts. It is the fastest moving snake in Africa.

black mamba evading predator

How dangerous is the Black Mamba?

The first reaction of these snakes like most others is to depart the scene when danger threatens. These snakes consider humans as predators rather than prey and will attempt to flee. However if trapped will defend themselves aggressively. They will strike repeatedly and tales of Mambas killing lion and giraffe are known to exist.

black mamba on the ground

When struck by a Black mamba you will have been injected with a potent neurotoxic venom. The venom attacks the central nervous system shutting down the heart and lungs. The bite is fatal to humans if not treated with anti-venom. Attacks that occured before the advent of anti-venom carried an almost 100% fatality rate. Fatalities have become far more rare with the medical treatment available today.

black mamba coffin shaped head

Where will you find the Black Mamba?

They definitely occur in the Mpumalanga region and most parts of Sub Saharan Africa. They hunt by day and will retreat to their burrows, rock crevices and insect mounts by night. They are territorial and will return to the same lair every night.

What does the Black Mamba eat?
During the day they actively hunt their prey of small mammals, birds and lizards.

Other information.

Mambas are related to the cobras (Elapids), as can be seen during their threat display, when they stretch a slightly smaller hood while gaping their mouth.

Black mambas are fast, nervous, lethally venomous, and when threatened, highly aggressive.

African myths exaggerate the capabilities of the Black Mamba to legendary proportions. For these reasons, the black mamba is widely considered the world’s deadliest snake.

Black mambas are Africa’s longest venomous snake, reaching up to 4.5 meters but 2.5 meters is the average length.

Black mambas are among the fastest snakes in the world, slithering at speeds of up to 20 kilometers per hour.

Black mamba up a tree

I have a theory. The theory goes as follows. We are on the same planet but in totally different worlds. On Twitter André VR mentioned that he had just been offered a job doing a photoshoot. It seems they either wanted him for 12 hours or 24.

They offered him a R 1000.00.  Lets look at it logically. André not unlike me has a camera thats body set him back at least R 6000.00 (and thats if he has a really crappy camera), but is more like to have cost somewhere in the region of R 14000.00.

We are not including the lenses, the flashes or even the camera bag that cost in excess of a R 1000.00. My equipment should I replace it will cost somewhere in the region of R70k. I still want to spend another 70 – 80k on equipment to improve the service I supply to my clients.

So in order for Andre to make money at R41.00 an hour, He would need to spend about 2000 hours shooting just to pay for the camera equipment. Lets take into account the software and hardware needed for post processing and before André makes a return on his investment he needs to do the equivalent of 75 work weeks before he actually earns any salary.

But lets look at that R41.00 an hour. If André were to work for 40 hours at R41.00 he would turn over the princely sum of R1640.00.  I think the person making the offer needs to visit an economist that actually understands how people live.  In fact would you work for R 1610.00 a week and supply your own equipment?

I wouldn’t do it if you supplied the equipment.

And to add to that. The twat that tried to use my web design articles to create backlinks to his website using the nom de plume “Web designer”. Do you think I am as stupid as the bloke that offered André the opportunity?

I also got offered an opportunity late last week. If I shot some pictures of the right people I would get seen and make loads of money from the exposure. The only exposure  am interested in is the kind that actually puts money in my pocket and a decent photo on the screen.

I am tired of doing stuff and not getting paid. I am tired of clients that change the specification and payment terms to suit themselves. I am not talking about waiting a week, I am talking months.

It works like this, no money, no service.

Identifying the Mozambique spitting cobra.

The Mozambique spitting cobra could be mistaken for a black mamba by the layman. They are very similar in colour but the head shape is different. The black mamba has a very distinctive coffin shaped head, whereas the Mozambique spitting cobra has a rounder snout. Colouration on the Mozambican spitting cobra can vary from olive, through browns and slate grey. Look for the salmon or yellow underbelly and the black bars across the neck area.

Mozambique Spitting cobra at rest

Where will you find the Mozambique spitting cobra?

The Mozambique spitting cobra likes water and will be found in most of subsaharan Africa, from Kwazulu Natal through to the Mpumalanga Lowveld and Mozambique and even in Namibia. This is the most common cobra in the area.

Mozambican Spitting cobra defensive rear of hood

How dangerous is the Mozambique spitting cobra?

There is only one snake considered more dangerous than the Mozamique spitting cobra and that is the Mamba. The Snake will always try and avoid confrontation but when threatened is very aggressive. The snake is capable of spitting it’s venom and generally will spit before any physical attack. It’s bite causes local tissue destruction. The venom when spat into the eyes can cause blindness.

Mozambique spitting cobra hooded front view

What does the Mozambique spitting cobra eat?

This cobra’s diet mainly consists of amphibians, other snakes, birds, eggs, small mammals, and even insects occasionally.

Mozambique spitting cobra spitting

Other information.

The Mozambique spitting cobra is considered nervous and highly strung, but as in all things every snake is an individual. When they feel threatened they can rear as much as two thirds of their body. They spit in defense from the reared up position and spread hood. Venom can be spat 2 – 3 meters with great accuracy.

Mozambique spitting cobra open mouth

The spitting cobra does not often actually bite despite its aggressive behaviour, and also shares the same habit of feigning death to avoid further molestation.

The average length of adults is between approximately 1 meter but speciments up to 1,4 meters have been spotted.

The  Mozambique spitting cobra will lay an average of 15 eggs, but up to 22 have been found, hatchlings measure approximately 24 cm.

On Saturday a crocodile captured in the wild was given a biopsy to check for disease in wild crocodiles. I was there to capture images on “film”. The 4 m crocodile had been given enough drugs to sedate a 3m crocodile by the capture team.

harvesting the crocodile steak

closing up after surgery, superglue works a treat

By the time the biopsy was done a local anaesthetic was needed as the croc was semi awake.  The blindfold and the local kept him calm while the cutting was taking place. Thereafter we unloaded him after treating his wounds and moved him into the translocation camp.

Local canoeists on the river in the Schoemanskloof have been complaining about a few crocs in the river so they are being moved to other homes. Once we had her in the camp we were able to take a few photos up close and personal under the watchful eyes of the experts.

Here are a few shots for you to look at. Soon I will be processing many more and putting them on the Mpumalanga Photography website.

Bailey Schneider of 94.7 fm fame to launch her own website. We were chosen to create the site and between Bailey and Guy decided on the pink and black theme that can be viewed at Bailey Schneider’s site.

Bailey and Guy handled all discussions by email and telephone. The designer and the client have not physically met. Bailey says on her own site

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